I knew what I wanted. A cigarette. I've never smoked, but who cared. I put on the jeans, a loose shirt, a coat, the only flat shoes I had, and I sneaked out of the room. At the hotel lobby I ordered a pack of the perfumed fags and a matchbox I didn't even know how to use, but I knew I liked the odor. After a few failed attempts I finally succeed to light one and accept the deadly smoke to keep bothering my used throat. I coughed with fear I'd throw all the sperm up on that cherry wood table. My. After cleaning my makeup, I proceed to the kitchen, since that is where I hear everyone's voices. Entering the kitchen, I see Magda and Frank leaning up against the counter talking with Jason sitting on a chair near the kitchen table. Jason motions to me that the beer on the table near him is for me. I walk over and take it. Jason mentions that I should sit, so I lower myself gently onto his lap. As I sit there, I feel his hands as they reach around and clasp me around my middle. I also feel. Artist’s fingers, she thinks. He is an artist. But he doesn’t paint anymore. The dim light bathes the pages of the book in yellow light. His face is shadowed, hidden in the darkness. A bottle of red wine sits beside him, opened, half empty. She watches him read. On my wedding day, she thinks, on my wedding day, I was happy. She turns abruptly and walks outside onto the veranda. Moonlight washes the old wooden flooring in pale white light. The gnarled fingers of the old sycamore tree snatch at. I know he was watching me and eventually he indicated that I should stop. I pulled the handbrake up and opened my legs as I had done before. The water poured over the car from the jets they use. Then all three of them grabbed the hand cloths and started to wash the car from tip to toe. I was a little disappointed when the car was being washed as I knew they could not feast their eyes on me, but it didn’t stop me from fondling my breasts and tweaking my nipples. In my mind was the hope that I.
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